Archives for October 2011

DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT

How well you handle disappointment says a lot about your character. Life dishes up disappointment like daily specials at a corner diner.  They’re the speed bumps of life.  Some bumps are small like rain on the day you’ve planned an outside activity.  Others  are major like losing your house keys when you need to get to the bathroom. When life dishes up surprises I have a few choice ways for handling the unexpected.  I curl up in bed and hide under the blanket or cry in my soup and accept the inevitable, or square my shoulders to dig deeper for more determination.

This week my writing career hit a speed bump.  Like many diligent writers, I followed all the rules. I wrote the best manuscript I possibility could.  I shopped it around at several conferences, found an interested editor and sent it to her. Then, I started to work immediately on my next story idea.  In between I watched the phone and the mail, waiting for those magically words.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.     

I waited four long grueling months before I decided to check on my manuscript.  I felt like someone had poured ice water down my back when I was told my manuscript could not be found.  Four months of waiting and nothing to show for it.  I had to reset the clock and start all over again.  The editor was kind enough to request I resend the manuscript and I did.  But first I had to wallow in my misfortune.  I gave myself four whole days to nurture my disaster.  Then I dusted off my melancholy and mailed another manuscript.  The waiting clock has been reset, life has returned to normal.  I’m waiting.

When life throws you a curve ball, what do you do?

THE WORLD OF COMPROMISE

Did you compromise in your career?  Your chosen field of study? Where you live? Or your mate?  Maybe you compromised on what you ate for dinner last night. We all do it, sometimes knowingly, other times subconsciously. I imagine no one moves forward without making some compromises or concessions; that is of course unless you have a bulldozer personality.

 

When I was graduating from high school my mother sat me down, looked into my wild, excited eyes and said, “You better study something in college so that you can get a job when you graduate.”  I was disappointed.  I wanted to be a writer.  But she gave me excellent advice.  My mother is a fiercely independent woman who knows how hard the world can be. Her reality said black women can’t make a living writing.  So like a good daughter, I followed her sage advice and my life has turned out quite well.  (Thanks Mom!)  But of course I can’t help wondering ‘what if’.

If I had studied journalism in college instead of business administration would I now be a published author or would I be a starving writer, waiting tables while penning my big New York Times bestseller?  I’m getting a late start on the whole novel-writing thing, but I’d like to think my experiences add depth to my writing.

I wanted to know if I’m the only one scratching my head and pondering my choices, so I asked several people this question:

 

“If you could talk to your 18 year-old self, what would you say?”

 

To my amazement many of the responses   A few of them are below:

 

LW:        Follow your heart.  Don’t do what you think you should, do what you want

PC:         Keep writing.  Write your heart out

KM:        You’re not a bad person. Don’t go through life depressed

KRH:     Stop, relax, have some fun. Enjoy life

GH:        Enjoy yourself.  Live life to its fullest

RW:        Don’t be afraid. Follow your dreams

EB:         Learn as much as you can and you can do anything

PB:         In one lifetime you can have several careers, don’t fuss over one too much

Now it’s your turn.  “If you could talk to your 18 year-old self, what would you say?”