The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
As we near the holiday the same question always comes up again and again. What can I give my husband for Christmas and what can he give me. After several years of marriage I’ve given this question a lot of thought. I think I can finally answer this question without hesitating. I know what I like and I know what gifts I like to received. I’ve told him he can never go wrong with anything in the following categories.
Lingerie – if he buys me something sexy to wear then we both will be happy. This can include sleep wear, lounge wear or sexy panties. Who wouldn’t be happy with that?
Leather. – Almost everyone likes leather. It can be a coat, a wallet, a handbag. Either way I’m sure I’ll have a big grin if he gives me something from this category.
Cologne – I wear lots of different scents depending on the time of year. If he were to choose one from my many bottles on my dresser he can’t go wrong. I told him I like layering my scents, so by including lotion or shower gel he’s got a decent gift.
Gift card – I was born to shop, but I might not want to do it all at once. Gift cards allow me to get the right thing just when I need it. I’ve been known to pull one from my wallet in July. The timing is always right for a gift card.
Cashmere – I don’t think I need to say another thing.
Pampering – I’m always ready for a manicure, pedicure, facial or a massage. An afternoon where I can get one, two or all four treatments is always a welcomed gift.
I’m still at a loss at what to give him, but I hope I’ve made it simpler for him. What are your top six gifts?
Talk of happiness is everywhere now. Everyone wants it and, yet it’s very elusive. For me the question was why. Happiness is mentioned in the Bill of Rights, it says we all have the right to pursue it, so we do.
I found a way to be happy most of the time. And it wasn’t as hard as I thought. Everyone has an opinion about how find happiness. I’ve found a way that works for me because it was simple, easy and I enjoyed doing it.
One day while having lunch with a very dear friend, she told me every evening she wrote down at least three things that happened to her that she was grateful for. I couldn’t get that idea out of my head. It seemed simple, and a good way to register thanks.
When I settled down for the evening I used to contemplate my day, but I often focused on the negative instead of the positive stuff.
The driver who cut me off in traffic.
The long line at the checkout counter.
The rain that almost ruined my new shoes.
That extra cookie I shouldn’t have eaten and was certain to show up on the scale the next morning.
Everyday something pleasant had happened to me, but I tended to want to focus on the things that were unpleasant. Those events were zapping my joy and my energy.
But I flipped it. Now every night before going to bed I jot down those events that I’m grateful for, that happened to me during the day. In the beginning it was difficult coming up with three things, but then I started paying more attention to small gestures that I tended to overlook.
I even began to smile as I registered them, thinking to myself that’s something I can write about.
Like the dog sleeping an extra hour in the morning instead of waking me up at the crack of dawn.
Or walking during my lunch hour.
Talking to my mother who lives in another state.
All these things brought me joy and if any one of them happened to me in the course of the day I had a better outlook. But, until I started writing them down I tended to ignore these simple joys.
Some people will think this is too insignificant to be of any value. But I had to stop looking for happiness in big demonstrative ways. Even on my worse days, when I wanted to hit the wall, there was something leading me in the opposite direction. Something that I can say I’m grateful for. It could be a call from a friend, seeing a hummingbird at the feeder, or getting in bed early enough to read a few chapters of a good book.
You see, for me it’s all about perspective and I’ve decided to look at my life through a much simpler pair of glasses.
How do you view your life? Could you use a new way of evaluating happiness?
When a person doesn’t have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.
When I was young my sisters and I spent summers with my grandmother in Virginia. Whenever there was a thunderstorm she would make us sit quietly. It felt like torture to be still, without the sound of television filling the room or running around in the constant motion, which was our norm. I can remember her humming softly while rain pelted the road and lighting lit the sky.
I didn’t know it then, but she was teaching me an important lesson. Not about thunderstorms-though she was probably right about that, too. But she taught me that sometimes you have to sit in silence to hear what’s right for you, to listen to God whispering in your ear.
In my adult life I seldom sit still and allow my mind to soar. There is always something to do, something to that can’t wait, something needling me for attention.
I’d love to have more quiet time like that again. So no matter how loud the outside world becomes I can find my quiet space. If I just wait for those quiet moments to appear, for the pressures of the world fall away and give me what I want, it will never happen. Just like I make time to exercise. Just like I make time to cook. Just like I find time to write. I need to make way for quiet time, to listen, to find my inner peace.
Have you sat long enough to hear the whisper to hear your soul?
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